Exciting Changes at Tree of Life Children’s Center: A Holistic Approach to Family Mental Health

A family seated together, with parents holding hands behind their children, symbolizing unity, emotional connection, and the family-centered therapy approach at Tree of Life Children’s Center.

We are thrilled to announce a new chapter for Tree of Life Children’s Center, as we transition into a holistic mental health center. Our focus is expanding beyond just the individual child to include the entire family system that surrounds them. This change is rooted in the belief that a child’s mental health is deeply interconnected with their environment—especially their relationships with parents and caregivers. By addressing the family as a whole, we can more effectively support a child's emotional growth, resilience, and overall well-being.

Our New Approach: Family-Centered Care

At Tree of Life, we begin with a comprehensive initial assessment that looks at the quality of attachment between parents and children. This is critical because secure attachment is a foundation for a child’s emotional stability, confidence, and ability to manage stress. Our assessment also evaluates a parent's ability to regulate their own emotions, as this directly impacts a child’s capacity to manage theirs. This aligns with the latest research in child therapy and family systems.

Once this assessment is complete, we share the results with the family and collaboratively develop a personalized mental health care plan that focuses on healing and growth for everyone involved. We then recommend a range of therapy services tailored to the family’s specific needs. This shift in our care model helps parents understand that they play a key role in their child’s mental health journey and empowers them to take part in the process.

What This Means for Your Family

Our services have expanded to offer a variety of workshops, therapy groups, and interventions designed to strengthen family bonds and foster healthier emotional regulation for both parents and children. These services include:

Parenting Workshops: Practical tools and strategies to help parents build strong, nurturing connections with their children. These workshops are designed to address common parenting challenges and enhance parenting skills.

Nurturing Connection Workshops and Groups: Designed to deepen the emotional bonds within the family and enhance communication, specifically tailored for parents navigating complex dynamics.

Attachment and Regulation Skills Groups: Where parents and children can learn essential skills for maintaining emotional balance. These groups are especially helpful for families addressing childhood anxiety or emotional dysregulation.

Family Therapy: To address and resolve challenges in family dynamics and communication. This therapy is individualized to the child’s and family’s needs, supporting overall family mental health.

Parent/Caregiver Coaching: To strengthen the co-parenting relationship, which can have a direct impact on the child’s well-being. Coaching is customized to address family-specific goals.

Individual Therapy for the Child: A space for your child to receive focused care while the family works on broader dynamics. This therapy includes play therapy, expressive arts therapy, sandtray therapy, and other evidence-based strategies specialized for children’s mental health.

Child-Focused Groups: Covering areas such as social skills, emotional regulation, healthy communication, friendship skills, and healthy attachment. These groups are ideal for children navigating peer relationships or managing big emotions.

Why This Matters

When parents and caregivers are involved in the mental health treatment process, children experience better outcomes. By improving the emotional health of the family system, children are more likely to develop resilience, confidence, and a greater capacity to manage their own emotions. This holistic approach ensures that treatment is not just about “fixing” one individual problem or issue but creating an environment where everyone can thrive.

We are excited to offer these new mental health services and support families in their journey toward emotional wellness. At Tree of Life, we believe that by nurturing the entire family system, we can foster lasting change for every child we serve.

If you’d like to learn more about these changes and how our holistic therapy approach can support your family, don’t hesitate to contact us!

What to Do if Someone You Care About is Experiencing Suicidal Thoughts

by Holly Patterson, CMHC Intern

Learning that someone you care about is contemplating suicide can be deeply unsettling. It's normal to experience fear, denial, shock, or even anger when someone’s words or behavior suggest they may want to end their life. You may feel upset that a problem could be so serious or wonder if asking about it could make the situation worse. Rest assured that research has shown asking about suicide does not increase risk. Once the question is asked, most people want to talk. Knowing how to respond can make a significant difference in connecting the person to the help they need, especially with suicide prevention resources readily available in Utah.

1. Recognize Warning Signs of Suicidal Thoughts

Recognizing warning signs of suicidal ideation is one of the most critical steps in helping someone. Look out for:

• Verbal Cues: Statements like “I don’t see the point anymore,” “I feel trapped,” or more direct expressions such as “I’d be better off dead” are clear warnings.

• Behavioral Changes: Withdrawal from social connections, giving away belongings, or increased risk-taking are significant red flags.

• Emotional Indicators: Expressions of hopelessness, feeling like a burden, and deep sadness can signal distress.

These signs are sometimes subtle, and people may mask their struggles. Observing these behaviors and showing genuine concern—even when the signs seem minor—is crucial. If you suspect someone may be struggling, bringing up these observations can help them feel seen, encouraging them to share their thoughts.

2. Approach and Question with Compassion

Approaching someone with a direct yet compassionate question is essential. Asking someone if they’re thinking about suicide doesn’t plant the idea but instead opens a safe space for them to talk openly. For example, “You seem to be going through a lot, and I’m concerned. Are you feeling like life isn’t worth living?”

This straightforward question provides the opportunity for honest conversation without downplaying or hiding their feelings. It also shows empathy, allowing them to share openly, which is critical for those experiencing suicidal thoughts. Avoid minimizing their experiences or immediately offering solutions; listening with understanding is key.

3. Listen and Show Empathy for Mental Health Struggles

Once they begin to open up, the next step is to listen without judgment. People experiencing suicidal thoughts often feel misunderstood or as though their pain is minimized. Avoid phrases like “Things aren’t that bad” or “Everyone goes through tough times.” Instead, offer supportive statements, like “That sounds incredibly difficult, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”

Active listening—through eye contact, nodding, and allowing them time to fully express themselves—can help ease some of their emotional burden. Simply feeling heard can provide a significant emotional relief.

4. Encourage Seeking Professional Help

Once trust is established, gently encourage them to seek professional help. Many people with suicidal thoughts feel isolated and think no one can help. Reassure them that reaching out is courageous and that support systems, such as counseling or crisis intervention, are available to help. Offer practical support by suggesting that you can help find resources together, whether that’s a counselor, a doctor, or a Utah-based mental health hotline.

You might say, “There are people trained to help you get through this. I can help you find someone who can support you.” Some may feel overwhelmed by the idea of reaching out, so offering to assist with calls or appointment scheduling can make a huge difference.

5. Refer to Resources in Utah for Suicide Prevention

Connecting them with professional resources is crucial. In the U.S., the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline provides 24/7 support, and trained counselors are available for immediate intervention. Additionally, if you’re in Utah, the SafeUT app is a valuable resource that offers confidential crisis counseling, access to mental health professionals, and mental wellness tips. The SafeUT app is particularly beneficial for students, parents, and educators, providing on-demand support tailored for youth and school environments.

Having these resources on hand can offer the person immediate steps to take. Remind them that professional help is available, and that they don't have to face this journey alone.

6. Follow Up and Continue Offering Support

Support doesn’t end with one conversation. Recovery from a mental health crisis takes time, so checking in regularly can provide ongoing encouragement. Following up shows genuine care and reinforces that they’re not alone in their struggles. A simple message like, “I just wanted to see how you’re doing today,” or scheduling regular times to connect can be grounding for someone dealing with mental health challenges.

Encouragement for Caregivers

It’s natural to feel unequipped or even scared to have these conversations. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers or be a mental health professional to make a positive impact. By reaching out, listening, and connecting someone to appropriate mental health resources in Utah, you’re making a profound difference. Your support shows them they’re not alone in their struggles.

Reference
QPR Institute. QPR Gatekeeper Training for Suicide Prevention: The QPR Review. Spokane, WA.

Finding Calm in Chaos: Self-Care Strategies for Navigating Political Stress

by Nicholas Call, LCSW

polling station sign

In today’s political climate, many are experiencing emotional strain as the stakes feel high and the noise of divisive opinions fills our spaces. For some, these tensions bring up unresolved feelings of betrayal, mistrust, or a lack of control—emotions tied to deep-seated experiences that may resurface when stress is high. Left unaddressed, these feelings can leave us vulnerable to being overwhelmed by the “us vs. them” mentality and hyper-focus on what divides us.

Understanding Emotional Responses to Political Conflict

For anyone carrying trauma or difficult life experiences, intense political division can magnify emotional pain. When tribalism, or the feeling of us versus them, dominates the conversation, it’s common for trauma symptoms to reappear: sleeplessness, hyper-vigilance toward the news, defensiveness, or even feelings of hostility toward those who disagree. Recognizing these responses as part of our personal history—not just the result of current events—offers a compassionate way to step back, acknowledge our pain, and create space for healing.

Self-Care Practices for Peace and Resilience

In polarized times, self-care begins with grounding ourselves in the present. Anxiety and fear often pull us out of the here and now, but anchoring ourselves with mindfulness can help restore inner calm and balance. Consider these grounding practices to support mental wellness:

• Mindful breathing: Techniques like deep breathing or grounding in the present can restore peace and center the mind.

• Connecting with nature: Taking even brief moments outdoors can have a calming effect.

• Journaling for clarity: Writing down thoughts and feelings externalizes stress and brings self-awareness.

• Media detox: Limiting news consumption can help keep perspective, reducing emotional overload.

Seeking Support from Trusted People

Talking to someone supportive—whether a friend, therapist, or community member—can provide fresh perspective and help us feel less isolated. Leaning on connections with others grounds us, offering comfort and relief from divisive environments.

Building a Resilient Mindset in Divisive Times

Each of these small steps helps build resilience, compassion, and inner calm. By tending to our minds and bodies, staying in the present, and cultivating peace, we begin to nurture a space within ourselves that is resilient, balanced, and above all, compassionate. Becoming a blessing in your own life starts with the choice to prioritize your peace and presence, despite the noise around us.

How can Therapy Address Disruptive Behavior in Children?

by Kasidi Parkinson, ACMHC

Disruptive behaviors are “behaviors at home, school, and elsewhere that literally disrupt the normal flow of things” (Lee, 2020). 

What does disruptive behavior look like?

Most kids experience temper tantrums, but the difference between temper tantrums and disruptive behavior is that temper tantrums are occasional, while disruptive behavior is frequently occurring. Disruptive behavior in children can show through acting out- at times in aggressive ways, a continued presence of anger, defiance, difficulty regulating and managing any emotions they have, as well as back talking. Children can also exhibit a lack of respect for those that their behavior is directed towards (i.e. parents, teachers etc.). Children that show disruptive behavior can have difficulty not only communicating their emotions towards those around them, but also have difficulty understanding the emotions they are having. Children can have impaired executive functioning skills, which can look like having difficulty assessing situations and thinking through how their behaviors may impact themselves or others around them.

How can Therapy help?

There are many different ways individual therapy can help children with disruptive behaviors. First, it can help children with their emotional intelligence, teaching them to verbalize their emotions. It can also help children recognize thought patterns and show them how to make those thought patterns more positive. Additionally, therapy can teach children coping skills to help regulate their emotions and can allow them to gain skills towards empathy and boundaries. Therapy can help children not only reduce disruptive behaviors, but it can also help them gain new skills that improve executive functioning and prepare them to better navigate challenges they might experience in their lives. Therapists can also help give parents one-on-one advice on what they can do to help their children to reduce disruptive behaviors, as well as how to practice skills that children learn in therapy. 

What parents can do to help their children with disruptive behavior

• Set clear rules that are is age appropriate for your child

• Praise positive behavior

• Offer choices: give two choices that children can choose from. Example: Do you want to get into your pajamas first or brush your teeth first. 

• Acknowledge the emotion, set boundaries, and give options. Example: I can see that you are angry, but it’s not okay to hit, you can either take a break in your room or you can do deep breathing exercises with me. 

Helping Children Understand Their Emotions

by Taylor Herzer, CSW

Expressing emotions and understanding what you feel when you feel it can be hard for anyone to grasp. Children especially can have difficulty understanding and expressing emotions, which can turn everyday frustrations, disappointments, etc. into outbursts, crying, and shut downs. Here at Tree of Life, we strive to help children better understand their emotions and learn new tools for emotion expression. In connection, we work with parents to better help their kids understand how they are feeling and foster healthy feeling expression. The following article dives a little deeper into this process and gives some tips and tricks to use at home!

2 Keys to Understanding Emotions for Kids

1. Connecting Emotions & Physical Sensations:

   Emotions feel different for everyone, so helping children pinpoint what particular emotions feel like in their body is the first step. For example, when I am feeling a lot of worry or stress, my mind gets foggy, my heart might race, and I may start fidgeting with my hands. However, some children will express that for them, worry or stress feels like sweaty palms, shaky legs, and an upset stomach. The feeling is the same but the body sensations are very different. If your child does not understand that the sweat, shaking, and stomach pain is connected to worry then they may have a hard time letting you know that that is what they are feeling. Therefore, helping children understand that different feelings have different sensations is the first step to helping them understand their emotions.

2. Getting Comfortable with Expression:

   A lot of children will express that even talking about feelings makes them feel uncomfortable or overly vulnerable. This can be due to a variety of reasons, but a common reason is that they are not used to talking about their emotions openly. Along with discovering which emotions lead to which body sensations, it is important to get your child simply talking about how they feel. In a therapeutic setting this may look like game play, modeling emotions in relation to what is being talked about, expressive arts activities, and more. As time goes on, the more emotions that are modeled and expressed the more the child will be able to express themselves in times of need.

How it May Look in Therapy

Many children respond well to interactive activities such as card & board games, play therapy, expressive arts therapy, and more. All of these tools help the child to engage with the different concepts in a fun and hands-on way. Throughout any of these processes the therapist will most likely be modeling the different emotions that arise, and helping the child pinpoint and label what different emotions look like to them. Through these activities children could also be learning different tools and coping strategies to use at home or whenever they are feeling intense emotions.

• Some of the games that are played pinpoint specific emotions and allow the child to interact with labeling their emotions. This tool can also help with labeling the emotions of others, and potentially learning new tools to help with expression and/or calming down. Other games are designed just to get the child talking about feelings in a more fun way. With these games, children are not only learning how to express themselves on their own, but also listening to an adult share and express when they have felt similar things. It’s important for children to know that they are not alone in trying to figure out their emotions and how to express them, and that everyone is allowed to make mistakes when it comes to healthy expression.

• Play therapy is typically used for younger children (ages 3-10, but can be used for older children) and provides a space for the child to process their emotions through the safest tool they know how; play. Modeling emotions is a big way for the therapist to help the child engage with emotion expression. For example: “That makes me feel sad”, “I wonder how that doll feels right now”, “I am feeling exhausted after that”, etc. This allows the child to begin connecting emotions to different experiences, and again allows them to engage with the concept that everyone feels and expresses differently.

• Expressive arts is another great tool that is used to help children engage with different emotions. Again it can be fun and interactive, and allows the child to express themselves and their emotions. This can look many different ways. Sometimes they express themselves through artwork and prompts such as “draw a picture of what purple feels like”. Or it can be creating feelings wheels, drawing out what different feelings look like in your head, etc. Expressive arts is a great interactive way for children to connect and express emotions.

How Can You Help as a Parent or Guardian?

Now, many parents may be wondering “How can I help my child at home?” There are many ways that you can help your child to be better able to express how they feel when they feel it.

1. Modeling the different emotions that you as an adult feel: Sometimes parents want to appear strong and put together for their children, but allowing them to see that mom sometimes gets frustrated, or dad sometimes cries, is important for the child to understand that emotions are normal, and it is okay to show and express them when needed in healthy and appropriate ways. When you feel something, say something. Let your kids know that you also feel strongly about different things throughout your day. Another way to do this is by doing feelings check ins at least once a day (could be at dinner, on the drive home from school, before going to bed at night, etc). This is where each family member is prompted to share one hard emotion they felt, and one easy or feel good emotion that they felt. This opens the door to having more conversations about emotions and sets the tone that sharing is good and needed.

2. Share emotions and model healthy expression, is during tantrums and meltdowns: Has your child ever been yelling, screaming, and/or crying and you thought to yourself “Now I’m angry.” It is completely okay to share that with your child at that moment. Say “I’m getting frustrated and need to calm down. I am going to take a break and then we can talk about this more.” Then take your break and come back to address the situation. Some parents will even say they need to take a few deep breaths and then offer for the child to join them, modeling how they do it as they go. This not only normalizes feeling frustration or anger, but also shows them how to combat those feelings in a healthy way.

3. Help your child label emotions that they may be feeling: For example, let’s say your child had a play date planned and had been looking forward to it all week. Then suddenly an hour before the play date, the other family has to cancel for one reason or another. Not only might you, as the parent, be feeling disappointment, but your child most likely will be feeling that way too but maybe a little more intensely. When they start to cry, get angry, or shut down due to this, you can express and pinpoint that feeling with them. “I can see that you are disappointed about this, I am too. Would you like to take a break and then work together to figure out what else we can do with our day?” Or if they are inconsolably upset or angry you can state “I can see that you are angry. Not being able to go is super frustrating. Let’s talk about it more when you feel more calm.” By doing this you are labeling and validating what they are feeling about the situation, and they are getting more familiar with how those different emotions may physically feel for them.

Figuring out healthy ways to express emotions can be difficult at all ages. By helping your child learn to express their emotions, you can set them up for success later in life. It can be a hard process depending on the child and the situation, but taking small steps at a time can lead to bigger results later down the line. Don’t forget to be patient with yourself during the process!

What's it Like to See a Therapy Intern?

by Holly Patterson, CMHC Intern

When considering mental health counseling, many people might find themselves weighing the option of seeing a student intern for various reasons. These interns are typically graduate students in counseling or psychology programs who are seeing clients under the supervision of a licensed professional. While some may hesitate at the thought of seeing an intern, research suggests that there may be little difference in the outcomes between services provided by interns and those offered by experienced professionals. By breaking down some of the specific concerns and questions, you can decide if working with an intern is the right fit for you.

Benefits of Choosing an Intern Therapist

• More affordable therapy: Interns often provide services at a reduced rate or on a sliding scale. This means that your income and ability to pay are taken into consideration when setting the fee to work with the intern. Having access to a lower cost option often makes therapy accessible to those who might otherwise be unable to afford it.

• More immediate availability: With the high demand for mental health services, waiting lists for appointments with licensed counselors can often be long. Interns can usually offer more immediate availability, allowing individuals to receive support right away.

• Enthusiasm and dedication: Interns are at the beginning of their career and are typically eager and motivated to apply the knowledge they have gained. This enthusiasm can translate into a high level of care and dedication to their clients. Interns may also have more time to devote to each client, allowing them to provide very personalized and attentive care. This can create a supportive and empathetic therapeutic environment which is ideal for healing and growth to take place.

• Your treatment plan is managed by an experienced supervisor: Interns typically work under the close supervision of experienced, licensed professionals. This means that your treatment plan and progress are regularly reviewed by a seasoned expert, ensuring that the guidance you receive is sound and effective. You essentially gain the benefit of having two minds -one fresh and one experienced-focusing on your well-being!

When an Intern Therapist may not be the Best Choice

• Little experience with complex or severe cases: While interns have a solid theoretical foundation, they may not have done specialized training in specific modalities yet. For clients seeking a particular intervention such as EMDR, an intern may not be the best choice unless they have received adequate training. Also, interns are still in training and may not have the breadth of experience that a fully licensed counselor possesses. This lack of experience might impact their ability to handle especially complex or severe cases.

Choosing to see an intern for mental health counseling can be a beneficial option for many individuals. Ultimately, the decision should be based on individual preferences, needs, and circumstances. For those open to the idea, seeing an intern can be a valuable step toward mental wellness.

References

1. Okiishi, J., Lambert, M. J., Nielsen, S. L., & Ogles, B. M. (2006). Waiting for supershrink: An empirical analysis of therapist effects. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 13(6), 307-314. https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.509

2. Anderson, T., Crowley, M. E. J., Himawan, L., Holmberg, J. K., & Uhlin, B. D. (2015). Therapist effects on client outcomes in routine outpatient psychotherapy: A multilevel modeling of real-world psychotherapy data. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 62(3), 349-361. https://doi.org/10.1037/cou0000075

3 Types of Expressive Art Therapy for Kids

by Kasidi Parkinson, ACMHC

Expressive art therapy combines psychology and creativity to promote emotional growth and healing. Expressive art therapy in child therapy allows children to express things in a way without needing to talk. It allows children to also process situations they have been in, as well as the emotions that they have experienced that are difficult for them to express and process in other ways. Using expressive art can also allow children to have opportunities to cope. Types of expressive arts that can be used are painting, music, origami, drawing, stories, and a lot more.

Types of expressive art therapy interventions that I use with clients:

1. Making a Mandala: children draw out a Mandala drawing and then color it. After it is drawn and colored, children will then write a story that includes feelings and thoughts that led the child to draw what they drew. Afterwards, we talk through and process the story and drawing together.

2. Origami animal: Children will make an animal based on an emotion they are struggling with. Afterwards, children will process why that animal was chosen and how it can reflect back onto the emotion.

3. Coping boxes: Children will make a type of box that can be from a tissue box, shoe box, or even making an origami box. Children will design the box however they want that expresses who they are. Afterwards, children can put different coping skills and emotions into the box. An example is making an origami two tier box of an animal. A “mouth” will be cut out on both boxes. The child will “feed” one mouth with emotions and then “feed” the other mouth with coping techniques that the child can pull out when needed.

Try one of these at home and see how your children can express their emotions through art!

10 Acts of Self-Care to Show Yourself Some Love

by Camille Cutler, AMFT

Self-care is a conscious effort to make time for yourself and do things that fill your cup. Prioritizing self-care can help your overall well-being, promoting physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional health. So, here are some fun ways to show yourself some love when you need a little time for you.

1. Make/bake/order and eat your favorite meal or snack

When we are having emotionally difficult or even busy days we can often forget to eat. Slowing down to enjoy our favorite food can not only be nourishing for the soul but can help our nervous system regulate with the help of that delicious food that we’re consuming. 

2. Watch a cozy or comedic movie or show

Sometimes I like to watch a “comfort movie” when I am having a hard day or need to take a break from a hectic schedule. There are days when a show is easier to commit to timing-wise, but it can be nice to slow down and enjoy something we have been wanting to watch or something that we’ve previously enjoyed. Some of my go-to movies/shows: Hunt for the Wilderpeople, Heartstopper, Elemental, Ratatouille, Brooklyn 99, and Bridesmaids 

3. Drink a cup of warm tea while enjoying a book

Warm beverages can be grounding for our bodies and a good book can help us distract ourselves from the ebb and flow of daily life. Goodreads, local bookstores and libraries, and looking for books in your favorite genre online can be helpful ways to find a story you might want to dive into. Look for decaffeinated teas if you are feeling especially anxious; lavender, fruit, mint, and chamomile teas can all be great choices. 

4. Move your body 

Moving does not mean heavy exercise is required. Dancing to your favorite tunes, walking outside, stretching on the ground while you slowly wake up for a few minutes, it all counts, and it all helps us to reconnect and check in with our body. Don’t be afraid to use YouTube to find a video to guide you through any sort of movement that feels right for you, even “shaking it out” and jumping up and down does wonders for the body and mind. 

6. Listen to a guided meditation or guided imagery 

If this is your first time trying meditation, start with something shorter. Insight Timer is an app on my phone I like to use to find meditations because you can sort them by length. There are many free resources on this app as well as on YouTube. I personally enjoy meditations with nature sounds or music in the background. It can be helpful to practice meditation regularly to get the benefits, but it is not required!  See Camille’s Guided Self-Love Meditation here.

7. Try Progressive Muscle Relaxation 

Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) can be a fantastic resource for before bedtime and on high-anxiety days. PMR is the act of tensing and relaxing our muscles from our head to our toes and can be helpful to reset when we are on edge. Here’s a 7-minute video from TherapistAid that I like to share with clients and friends alike: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nZEdqcGVzo 

8. Call a friend or family member 

Humans thrive on connecting with others. Don’t forget to reach out to loved ones to talk about whatever it is you want: maybe a goal for the next few months, a funny story, memories with them, or even some hardships. Sometimes we can feel lighter when we share our frustrations with others who can validate our experiences and have the time and energy to do so. 

9. Complete part of a task or check a few things off of your to-do list

Stress is a feeling we are all probably familiar with. Sometimes a helpful way to take care of ourselves is to complete some tasks on our to-do lists. At times, it can be difficult to motivate ourselves. Setting a timer for 15 minutes and seeing what you can get done or listening to something while we complete a task can be helpful ways to encourage ourselves to remove some of those stressors that weigh heavy on our minds. 

10. Be outside in the sun 

Being outside in the sun can be a great way to wake up or warm up. We are all just plants with emotions and could use some Vitamin D on a daily basis. Bring a journal, book, or your phone outside and take some moments to soak up the sun. Added bonus: do any of the above ideas while in the sun and you’ll double up on your benefits (not scientifically proven). Just don’t forget to protect yourself from sunburns however you need! 

Curious to know what self-care can look like for your teens and kids? Read more here.

Self-care: What Does it Look Like for Kids, Teens, and Adults?

by Taylor Herzer, CSW

Self-care is an essential part of everyday life. Children, teens, and adults can all benefit from participating in some form of self-care. Self-care can help you be the best you can be for the people around you. Without caring for your own needs, it can be really hard to show up and be present for the people around you.

What does self-care look like?

Self-care can be anything from meeting physical needs (eating balanced meals, exercising, & sleep) & mental needs (journaling, meditation, etc), to doing things you enjoy and boost your mood (a loved hobby, getting a massage, listening to music, etc)

Self-care for Kids

It is important for children to have their own self-care routine, which is not something that they can easily pinpoint on their own and without some guidance. Every child is different, and it's important to remember that one child’s self-care might not coincide with another child’s self-care. Encouraging children to do small tasks for themselves from a younger age can help to build confidence and independence for the future.

Some self-care activities for children are:

● Picking out their own outfit in the morning: giving them a sense of independence and control over how they dress can be an important aspect of self-care for the child. It also allows for self expression and individuality.

● Writing or drawing out their days/big emotions: Depending on age, developmental stage, and preferences, writing or drawing out big things that happened throughout the day, or big emotions they experienced can be beneficial not only for letting out some of their stresses, but learning to express themselves in the way they need.

● Taking a break: Sometimes children need a break after spending all day at school, and before they jump into homework and other household responsibilities. During these breaks the child should be encouraged to do something they enjoy (another self-care aspect) like playing outside, coloring/drawing, reading, spending time in their room, etc. This can help relieve some of the stress of their busy days.

It may take some time to figure out what self-care activities feel the best for each child. Sometimes helping children explore different activities/hobbies can help them pinpoint for themselves what they enjoy and what makes them feel reset.

Self-care for Teens

Teens are sometimes better able to identify what they like and don’t like when it comes to self-care. However, it is still important for parents to encourage teens to participate in their identified self-care activities. Being a teen is stressful. From figuring out who and what they want to be, to balancing home and social life. It is important for them to have a good self-care routine to set them up for success for the years to come.

Some self-care activities for teens can include:

● Going for a walk, or doing another activity outside: Outside time is beneficial at all ages. Going for a walk either solo or with friends/family can allow teens the time they need to reset in a positive way. Fresh air never hurts anyone.

● Creative expression: This can be anything from creating music, art, dancing, writing, etc. No matter the outlet, encouraging teens to use creative expression as a way to express themselves and their emotions can be an important part of their self-care routine.

Self-Care for Adults

Finally but certainly not least; the parents/adults who are most likely reading this blog. Your mental, physical needs are just as crucial as that of the children and loved ones in your life. Adulthood has a lot of built up stress, and without an outlet it can boil over and affect those closest to you. This is why making sure you are taking care of your needs/wants is so important.

Some self-care activities for adults:

● Set time aside for just you: This can be in the morning, evening, or whatever time you can find for yourself, but make sure to set time aside for yourself and your own needs. Some people enjoy reading before bed, starting their day off with a walk, doing some sort of exercise, or even just spending a little extra time on a skin care routine/taking a longer shower or bath. Whatever it is, make sure you are setting that time aside for yourself.

● Make sleep a priority: It can be hard to prioritize the sleep you get because so many other more important things come up. However, sleep is crucial to mental and physical health and should therefore, become a priority. Other things can wait.

Again, self-care can look different for everyone. Explore different things and figure out what works best for you and your lifestyle; and continue to make sure that you are making time for yourself.

Understanding Adolescent-Centered Therapy

The adolescent years are a time of great change and development. Teenagers often struggle with a wide range of emotional, psychological, and social challenges. To address these unique needs, adolescent-centered therapy has emerged as an effective approach that caters specifically to the mental health and well-being of young individuals. We are going to explore the concept of adolescent-centered therapy, its core principles, and how it can help teenagers navigate the difficulties of adolescence. We are also going to be answering the questions: What is adolescent-centered therapy and how can it help?

Adolescent-centered therapy, also known as teen-focused therapy or youth-centered therapy, is a specialized therapeutic approach designed to meet the specific needs of teenagers. Unlike traditional therapy models that may be more suitable for adults, this approach recognizes and respects the unique experiences, developmental stages, and cultural backgrounds of adolescents.

Core Principles:

Empowerment and Collaboration: Adolescent-centered therapy places great emphasis on empowering teenagers to take an active role in their own therapy process. Therapists work together with young individuals, valuing their opinions, perspectives, and goals. This partnership creates a sense of free will, self-determination, and active engagement in the therapy process. Teenagers feel empowered to take ownership of their mental health and well-being.

Confidentiality and Trust: Adolescents often face concerns regarding privacy and trust, which can hinder their willingness to seek help. Adolescents often hesitate to share their thoughts and emotions due to concerns about judgment or confidentiality. This trusting environment encourages honest communication and allows teens to explore sensitive topics without fear of shame or repercussions. Adolescent-centered therapy provides a safe and confidential space for teenagers to explore their thoughts, feelings, and experiences without fear of judgment or breach of confidentiality. This confidentiality, within legal and ethical boundaries, helps build trust and enables teens to share openly with their therapists.

Developmentally Appropriate Interventions: Adolescent-centered therapy utilizes interventions that are tailored to the developmental stage and needs of teenagers. Therapists use a variety of approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, art therapy, or play therapy, depending on the specific needs of the individual. These interventions are designed to be engaging, relevant, and effective for the unique challenges adolescents face.

How Adolescent-Centered Therapy Can Help:

Emotional Well-being: Adolescence is a time of emotional trouble and intense feelings. Adolescent-centered therapy provides a supportive environment where teenagers can explore and express their emotions safely. Therapists help them develop healthy coping strategies, and emotional regulation skills, and enhance their resilience to manage stress, anxiety, depression, or other emotional difficulties.

Self-Identity and Self-Esteem: Teenagers are in the process of developing their self-identity and self-esteem. Adolescent-centered therapy offers a space for self-exploration, assisting teens in gaining a deeper understanding of themselves, their values, and their aspirations. Through therapy, they can develop a stronger sense of self and build a positive self-image.

Peer and Social Relationships: Adolescence is characterized by a significant focus on peer relationships. Adolescent-centered therapy addresses challenges related to friendships, romantic relationships, and social dynamics. Therapists help teenagers develop healthy communication skills, conflict resolution strategies, and assertiveness, enabling them to create meaningful and fulfilling relationships.

Emotional Regulation and Coping Skills: Adolescence is a period characterized by intense emotions and emotional instability. Adolescent-centered therapy equips teenagers with practical strategies to regulate their emotions and cope with stressors effectively. Therapists teach skills such as emotional awareness, mindfulness, relaxation techniques, and mental restructuring. These tools help teenagers manage their emotions, reduce anxiety and depression, and enhance overall emotional well-being.

Improved Self-Understanding and Identity Development: Adolescence is a time of self-discovery and identity formation. Adolescent-centered therapy provides a supportive environment for teenagers to explore their thoughts, feelings, and values. Through therapeutic interventions, teens gain a deeper understanding of themselves, their strengths, weaknesses, and aspirations. This self-awareness promotes a positive self-image, self-acceptance, and the development of a strong sense of identity.

Enhanced Communication and Interpersonal Skills: Strong communication and interpersonal skills are crucial for healthy relationships and social interactions. Adolescent-centered therapy helps teenagers develop effective communication strategies, active listening skills, empathy, and conflict-resolution techniques. These skills enhance their ability to express themselves, understand others, and build meaningful connections with peers, family, and friends.

Building Resilience and Coping Mechanisms: Adolescence is a period of significant challenges and transitions. Adolescent-centered therapy focuses on building resilience in teenagers, helping them develop the ability to bounce back from setbacks and cope with adversity. Therapists teach resilience-building skills, and problem-solving techniques, and help teenagers develop a positive mindset. These tools enable them to navigate challenges more effectively, develop a sense of inner strength, and adapt to change.

Support for Decision-Making and Future Planning: Adolescence is a time when important decisions about education, career paths, and future aspirations are made. Adolescent-centered therapy provides guidance and support in exploring interests, clarifying goals, and making informed decisions. Therapists help teenagers develop decision-making skills, set realistic goals, and create action plans. This support ensures that teenagers make choices aligned with their values and aspirations.

Adolescent-centered therapy recognizes the unique needs and challenges faced by teenagers and provides a specialized approach to promote their mental health and well-being. By fostering empowerment, collaboration, and confidentiality, this therapy model supports adolescents on their journey to self-discovery, emotional well-being, and positive social interactions. By engaging in this therapeutic process, teenagers can develop essential skills and tools that will serve them throughout their lives. 

Anxiety Therapy: Practical Strategies for Reducing Stress and Worry

Anxiety is a common mental health condition that affects millions of individuals worldwide. With its prevalence in all age groups, it’s important to understand what anxiety is and how it affects you, and explore practical tools and strategies that can help to reduce anxiety symptoms and empower you as you seek relief to take control of your mental well-being.

Anxiety is characterized by excessive and persistent worry, fear, and unease. It involves a combination of mental, emotional, and physical symptoms, such as racing thoughts, restlessness, irritability, muscle tension, and difficulty concentrating. It is more than just feeling stressed or anxious in certain situations; anxiety often shows as a chronic condition that can significantly impact a person's daily life and overall well-being. 

Various factors can trigger anxiety, including stressful life events, traumatic experiences, genetic predisposition, and underlying medical conditions. It affects individuals across all age groups and can vary in intensity and duration. Understanding your anxiety is crucial for developing practical solutions and support systems to help you manage and reduce symptoms, ultimately gaining better mental wellness and a higher quality of life.

Managing anxiety is not a one-size-fits-all effort. It requires a thorough approach including various lifestyle changes and coping mechanisms tailored to each individual's needs. By merging these strategies into daily routines, individuals can develop a more resilient mindset and find effective ways to navigate anxiety-provoking situations, ultimately enhancing their ability to cope and thrive.

Strategies to Manage Anxiety:

Among the essential strategies for anxiety management is regular exercise. Physical activity has been scientifically proven to reduce anxiety by increasing the production of endorphins, which are natural mood-lifters. It is a powerful outlet for releasing tension and promoting relaxation. Engaging in activities such as jogging, swimming, or practicing yoga promotes physical health. The beauty of exercise lies in its versatility; it can be made to suit individual preferences and abilities, making it an accessible and sustainable strategy for anxiety management.

Mindfulness is another essential tool in the anxiety management toolkit. At its core, mindfulness involves being fully present at the moment and observing thoughts and emotions without judgment. Individuals can develop an enhanced awareness of their anxious thoughts and feelings by developing mindfulness, allowing them to respond more balanced and constructively. Mindfulness meditation, a formal practice within mindfulness, has gathered substantial evidence-based support for its effectiveness in reducing anxiety symptoms. Regular implementation promotes relaxation, develops resilience, and minimizes the impact of stressors. Some podcasts help you practice mindfulness, such as 10% Happiness, Mindfulness Mode, The Rubin Mindfulness Meditation, On Being, and Untangle. You can incorporate mindfulness into various aspects of daily life through body scans, guided meditation, or simply paying attention to everyday activities with full awareness. 

Breathing exercises, specifically deep breathing techniques, offer another effective means of managing anxiety. Deep breathing exercises activate the body's relaxation response, counteracting the physiological changes associated with stress and anxiety. By consciously taking slow, deep breaths and directing attention to the sensations of each breath, individuals can lower heart rate, reduce blood pressure, and induce a state of calmness. Incorporating deep breathing exercises into daily routines, particularly during heightened anxiety, provides immediate relief and empowers individuals to regain control over their emotions. Furthermore, the portability and accessibility of deep breathing exercises make them a convenient tool for managing anxiety in various settings and situations.

Overall a couple of simple tips to help with anxiety are:

• Exercise more

• Practice mindfulness

• Breathing exercises

These tips are easy to incorporate into your everyday life. They can help you diminish the effects of anxiety in your life. 

How can therapy help?

In addition to these simple tips that can be easily incorporated into your everyday life, therapy for anxiety offers a comprehensive and invaluable resource for individuals seeking to address their anxiety effectively. Therapy for anxiety is a complete and valuable resource that provides individuals with a wide array of strategies and techniques to manage their anxiety effectively. With therapy, individuals can identify their unique triggers and develop essential coping skills that can be applied across various situations. The therapeutic process provides a safe and supportive environment that encourages self-exploration, allowing individuals to gain profound insights into their thoughts, emotions, and behavioral patterns. By delving into the underlying causes of anxiety, therapy empowers individuals to understand themselves better, fostering personal growth and resilience that can significantly impact their long-term ability to manage anxiety.

One of the key benefits of therapy is the opportunity it provides for individuals to develop a strong toolbox of coping mechanisms. Therapists employ evidence-based approaches which focus on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns, and exposure therapy, which gradually exposes individuals to anxiety-inducing situations to desensitize their fear response. Through these techniques and others, therapy equips individuals with practical strategies that can be utilized in real-life scenarios, empowering them to face their anxiety head-on with newfound confidence.

Another significant aspect of therapy for anxiety is the focus on self-discovery and self-awareness. Therapy encourages individuals to reflect on their experiences, beliefs, and values, allowing them to gain insight into the underlying factors contributing to their anxiety. By uncovering and addressing deep-seated issues, individuals can develop a more complete understanding of themselves, their triggers, and their unique journey with anxiety. This self-awareness serves as a foundation for personal growth. It allows individuals to make informed choices and take proactive steps toward managing their anxiety in the long run.

Furthermore, therapy helps individuals build resilience, which is vital for navigating the ups and downs of anxiety. Therapists assist individuals in developing effective coping mechanisms, cultivating self-compassion, and building healthy coping strategies to withstand the challenges of anxiety. By fostering resilience, therapy empowers individuals to bounce back from setbacks, adapt to stressors, and maintain their overall well-being even in anxiety-provoking situations.

Anxiety is a common condition that affects many individuals across age groups. However, practical and evidence-based strategies exist to relieve anxiety symptoms and improve overall well-being. By incorporating changes such as exercise, mindfulness, and breathing exercises into daily life and seeking support through therapy, individuals can effectively manage their anxiety and cultivate a more fulfilling life. It is crucial to remember that seeking help and support is a sign of strength, not weakness, and abundant resources are available for those struggling with anxiety. By embracing these tools and reaching out for help, individuals can take significant steps towards managing their anxiety and living a life characterized by greater peace, resilience, and fulfillment.

Understanding the Different Types of Anxiety

Anxiety is a common mental health condition that affects millions of individuals worldwide. It can appear in many different ways, each with its own characteristics and challenges. At Tree of Life, we are dedicated to helping people on their journey towards well-being. We also believe it is important to learn about the different types of anxiety. In this blog post, we will explore the most common types of anxiety, their symptoms, and potential treatment options. By teaching people, we hope to help those feeling anxiety and guide them towards the support they need.

Anxiety can be explained by feelings of worry, fear, and apprehension. It is a natural response to stress or perceived threats and can vary in intensity from mild to severe. Individuals with anxiety often experience excessive and persistent concerns about everyday situations, making it challenging to manage daily life.

Physical symptoms such as increased heart rate, trembling, sweating, restlessness, and difficulty concentrating are commonly associated with anxiety. The condition can also manifest through emotional symptoms like irritability, excessive worrying, and a sense of impending doom.

Anxiety disorders encompass various specific conditions, including generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder, social anxiety disorder (SAD), specific phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). These conditions may interfere with a person's ability to function effectively in their personal, social, and professional lives.

Generalized Anxiety:

Generalized Anxiety is a mental health condition where you have excessive and persistent worry or anxiety about various parts of life.  This worry often is without any specific cause or reason. People with generalized anxiety tend to feel exaggerated concerns about everyday situations, such as work, health, relationships, finances, and general well-being.

People with generalized anxiety find it challenging to control their worries, which can significantly impact their daily functioning and quality of life. They may anticipate negative outcomes, constantly expect the worst, and have difficulty relaxing or letting go of their anxious thoughts. This chronic state of worry can be accompanied by physical symptoms like restlessness, muscle tension, fatigue, irritability, difficulty concentrating, and sleep disturbances.

Generalized anxiety is typically diagnosed when excessive worry persists for at least six months and significantly interferes with a person's ability to function in their personal and professional life. It is important to note that generalized anxiety is different from occasional feelings of stress and worry that most people experience. The excessive and persistent nature of the worry is what sets generalized anxiety apart.

Treatment for generalized anxiety often involves a combination of therapy, medication, and self-help strategies. Therapy is commonly used to help individuals identify and challenge their anxious thoughts, develop coping skills, and manage their worries effectively. Medications may be prescribed in some cases to help with symptoms.

If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of generalized anxiety, it is advisable to consult with a mental health professional who can provide an accurate diagnosis and recommend appropriate treatment options.

Learn if you need treatment for generalized anxiety: http://www.treeoflifeutah.com/blog/2020/10/9/therapy-is-it-for-me 

Panic Disorder:

A panic disorder is a type of anxiety disorder characterized by recurrent and unexpected panic attacks. Panic attacks are intense episodes of overwhelming fear or discomfort that arise suddenly and reach a peak within minutes. These attacks can occur without any apparent trigger or in response to specific situations, such as being in a crowded place or experiencing high levels of stress.

During a panic attack, individuals may experience various distressing physical and psychological symptoms. Physical symptoms often include a rapid heart rate, chest pain, shortness of breath, trembling or shaking, dizziness, sweating, hot flashes or chills, and a sensation of choking or suffocation. Psychological symptoms can involve a fear of losing control or going crazy, feeling detached from oneself or reality, and an intense urge to escape the situation.

The fear of experiencing future panic attacks can lead to significant anxiety and anticipatory worry, which can further exacerbate the condition. As a result, individuals with panic disorder may start avoiding certain places or situations where they fear a panic attack might occur, which can significantly impact their daily life and activities.

Treatment for panic disorder typically involves a combination of therapy and medication.  Therapy can be a helpful approach that helps individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors associated with panic attacks. Techniques like breathing exercises, relaxation training, and exposure therapy may be used to manage and reduce the frequency of panic attacks. Medications may be prescribed to alleviate symptoms and prevent panic attacks.

If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms of panic disorder, it is advisable to consult with a mental health professional who can provide a proper diagnosis and guide you towards appropriate treatment options.

Social Anxiety:

Social Anxiety Disorder, also known as social phobia, is a mental health condition characterized by an intense fear of social situations and a persistent concern about being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated by others. People with social anxiety often experience overwhelming anxiety in various social settings, such as parties, meetings, public speaking, or even everyday interactions.

Individuals with social anxiety disorder may anticipate negative outcomes or criticism in social situations, leading them to avoid or endure them with significant distress. The fear of being scrutinized or negatively evaluated by others can cause a range of physical and psychological symptoms. These can include blushing, trembling, sweating, rapid heart rate, nausea, difficulty speaking, and cognitive symptoms like excessive self-consciousness, negative self-judgment, and intense anxiety leading up to or during social interactions.

The impact of social anxiety disorder can extend beyond social situations and affect an individual's personal relationships, academic or professional performance, and overall well-being. It can lead to social isolation, reduced opportunities for personal growth, and a diminished quality of life.

Treatment for social anxiety disorder typically involves therapy and, in some cases, medication.  Therapy can address the negative thought patterns, beliefs, and behavioral patterns associated with social anxiety. Exposure therapy also helps people gradually confront and become desensitized to feared social situations. Medications may be prescribed to manage symptoms and support therapy.

If you or someone you know is struggling with social anxiety disorder, it is advisable to seek help from a mental health professional. They can provide an accurate diagnosis and develop an individualized treatment plan to manage social anxiety and improve overall well-being.

Specific Phobias:

Phobias are a type of anxiety disorder characterized by an intense and irrational fear of specific objects, situations, or activities. These fears go beyond normal apprehension and can lead to significant distress and avoidance behaviors.

Specific phobias can involve a wide range of triggers, including animals (e.g., spiders, snakes), natural environments (e.g., heights, water), medical procedures (e.g., injections, blood), specific situations (e.g., flying, public speaking), and various other objects or scenarios. The fear is typically excessive and disproportionate to the actual threat posed by the phobic stimulus.

When exposed to the feared object or situation, individuals with specific phobias may experience intense anxiety or panic attacks. They often go to great lengths to avoid encountering phobic stimuli, which can interfere with their daily life, limit their activities, and impact their overall well-being.

The causes of specific phobias can vary, but they often develop through a combination of genetic, environmental, and psychological factors. Traumatic experiences, learned behaviors, and cultural influences can contribute to the development and maintenance of phobias.

Treatment for specific phobias typically involves therapy, such as exposure therapy.  Individuals gradually confront their fears and develop new ways of thinking and responding to the phobic stimulus.

If you or someone you know is struggling with a specific phobia, it is recommended to seek professional help from a mental health provider. They can assess the severity of the phobia, offer a proper diagnosis, and guide you towards effective treatment options to manage and overcome specific phobias.

While anxiety can be overwhelming, it is crucial to remember that effective treatments and support are available. If you or someone you know is struggling with any form of anxiety, reaching out to a qualified therapist or mental health professional can provide the guidance and assistance needed for recovery. By understanding the various types of anxiety and seeking appropriate treatment, individuals can embark on a path toward improved mental well-being, ultimately reclaiming their lives with confidence and resilience. Remember, you are not alone, and help is just a step away.

How does Individual therapy benefit you?

What is individual therapy like?

Individual therapy is a powerful tool that can benefit individuals from all walks of life. Whether you're struggling with mental health issues, relationship problems, or just feeling stuck, seeking therapy can offer a safe and supportive space to work through your challenges. Working with a licensed therapist allows you to explore your thoughts and feelings, gain insight into your behaviors, and develop practical strategies to improve your overall well-being.

Individual therapy is often a joint process between therapist and client, where the therapist creates a safe and non-judgmental environment for the client to explore their thoughts and feelings. The therapist will use various techniques and approaches to help the client gain new insights and perspectives into their challenges. Through this process, the client can develop a deeper understanding of themselves and their behaviors and ultimately achieve the tools they need to make positive life changes.

Who can benefit from individual therapy?

Therapy provides an opportunity to gain insight into behavior, improve communication skills, and navigate conflicts more effectively. Individual therapy can benefit a wide range of individuals facing various challenges and seeking personal growth. Those who can benefit from individual therapy include people dealing with mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, or stress. Therapy offers a safe space to explore and understand these conditions and develop coping strategies to manage symptoms—individuals experiencing relationship difficulties, whether personally or professionally, can benefit from individual therapy.

Individuals facing major life transitions, such as career changes, loss, or divorce, can find support and guidance in therapy to navigate these challenging periods. Ultimately, individual therapy benefits anyone seeking personal growth, self-exploration, and a deeper understanding of themselves. It offers a collaborative and compassionate environment to address personal concerns, increase self-awareness, and foster overall well-being.

Engaging in individual therapy benefits the individual seeking treatment and has a positive ripple effect on the people around them. When you prioritize your mental health and work towards personal growth and healing, it positively impacts your relationships, family dynamics, and overall social interactions. By attending therapy, you gain insight into your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, which enables you to develop healthier coping mechanisms and communication skills. As you learn to navigate your challenges more effectively, you can apply these newfound skills to your relationships, fostering more beneficial and fulfilling connections. Through therapy, you gain the tools to express your needs, set boundaries, and improve your understanding of others, leading to improved communication and more profound empathy. Ultimately, individual therapy empowers you to become more resilient, compassionate, and emotionally aware, positively impacting those around you and creating a more supportive social environment.

At our practice, we strongly recommend our therapy services for various reasons:

1. Our highly trained and experienced therapists provide a safe and supportive environment where clients can feel comfortable discussing their challenges and concerns.

2. We tailor each of our to meet the unique needs of each individual, ensuring that they receive the most effective treatment possible. We also focus on confidentiality and privacy, as trust is essential in the therapy relationship.

3. Our approach is evidence-based and grounded in the latest research, ensuring our clients receive the most up-to-date and effective treatments.

Individual therapy is a powerful tool that can help individuals to confront and overcome their challenges. Through a supportive and confidential therapeutic relationship, clients can better understand their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and learn new coping strategies to manage stress and improve their overall well-being. Our practice is committed to providing high-quality individual therapy services made to meet each client's unique needs. Everyone deserves the opportunity to live their best life, and we are here to help you achieve your goals. Contact us today to learn more about our therapy services and how we can support you on your journey toward healing and growth.

Learn more: www.treeoflifeutah.com/individual

Successful Online Schooling Tips

Over the past seven months or so, we have all been adjusting to what has become a popular term called “the new normal.” In reality, nothing has been “normal.” It has been a time of facing uncomfortable feelings like worry, frustration, boredom, and sadness, among others. Parents have had to deal with all of these feelings for themselves in addition to juggling working from home and helping their children process it all. It’s no wonder that we’re all on edge! Now there is a whole “new normal” to consider for some parents and kids: online schooling.

For some kids, the transition to online school has been somewhat seamless, as they like having control of their own schedule. However, what happens frequently is that it is a challenging adjustment for students and parents to keep things on track. If you find yourself in the latter category, you may have wondered, “How are we going to keep doing this?”

Tips:

-Schedule is key. Your child may benefit from knowing what their day will be like ahead. They could have a visual calendar that they know is in a central location every day, like on the fridge or hanging on the wall above their desk. As a parent, you can keep this as simple or as detailed you would like. For example, something like 9:00- Reading, 9:30-Break, etc. may be enough to help them feel organized. 

-Chunk work into smaller pieces. It can feel daunting and overwhelming for anyone to be confronted with a giant pile of work. Help your son or daughter feel less overwhelmed by breaking up tasks into smaller assignments and mixing up the types of work so that it stays fresh. This could look something like completing a science sheet (instead of 5 all at once) and rotating the rest with reading or spelling activities, as an example.

-Create lots of breaks and vary with stimulating activities. It’s unrealistic to expect anyone to sit in front of a computer for 5 hours, as you may have learned if you experienced working at home during this pandemic. Some teachers and schools require some lecture times where they must be online with their classmates. Other times the schedule is looser. Take advantage of those free times by creating breaks. There is also a bonus if you can vary the breaks so they stay novel. For example, one break is playing with Legos, the next is free electronic time, and another is a fun easy science experiment. This can also be a good time for you to connect with your son or daughter and get a break yourself.

-Build in rewards for completing small tasks; find larger rewards to help them feel more motivated. Kids may thrive more in the online environment knowing that what they are doing has a purpose. Find what motivates your child, which can be rather widespread. It may take some trial and error on your part. Some examples could be: favorite snacks they don’t get to eat often, making slime or another craft together, or a bigger and more intricate reward like redecorating their room. As you learn what type of reward speaks to your child you are learning how to help them feel appreciated. Make sure to switch the rewards frequently so that they stay fresh. 

-Busy box. When your son or daughter has to be present in front of that screen for longer periods of time, try setting them up for success by having items readily available that they can “be busy” with while they are there. It can be helpful to make this box a special item that they only get access to during these times, as it will help it to feel more motivating. Some examples of things for your busy box could be: Play-Dough or putty, fidget toys, gum or other small snacks that are acceptable at the learning area, coloring or drawing materials, and chair bands or a yoga ball to let those fidgets out. 

-Keep your cool amid the frustrations. Children have an innate ability to match the level of intensity that you show when feeling strong feelings, like frustration and anger. It’s totally natural that you both will feel frustrated about this change. However, keep in mind that your child needs you to set the tone. Show them that you can handle the feelings and they can too. Remember, they need you to show acceptance and care more than they need to finish the assignment. 

Ideally, the online schooling transition will become easier with time. You both need some time to figure things out and you’re learning together. As you utilize some of the tips from this article, such as finding ways to keep motivations higher, build in breaks, and battle those fidgeting urges, you can have a successful experience.

Therapy! Is it for me?

Who needs therapy? 

As humans, we are all subject to the human condition. The human condition is filled with loss, weakness, trauma, illness, and other challenges, as well as the many joys in life. Take a moment to liken the human condition to the weather. Some moments are filled with sunshine, sometimes light rain showers, and others category 4 hurricanes. The conditions in our lives can also be represented with similar patterns over time. So, who needs therapy? The simple answer is it can help anyone and everyone! It is never a bad idea to have support as we process, cope with, and move through life’s challenges.

Why would someone seek therapy?

People seek therapy when they are faced with these human conditions that seem overwhelming, uncertain, exhausting, frustrating, or just plain dark and dreary. Therapy is for those wanting a change in perspective, additional resources, and skills and strategies to meet the conditions they are facing in their lives.

What happens in therapy?

Therapy is an opportunity to meet with a Licensed Professional Counselor, Marriage and Family Therapist, Psychologist, or Social Worker, who has spent many hours studying the human condition and its impact on individuals’ lives. Therapists apply their skills and learning to help individuals meet their challenges. Help can be an insight into the problem, problem-solving, building resources and support within oneself and around them, adjusting the story we tell ourselves, use of mindfulness and calming strategies, and skills to change one’s perception or behavior that has become ineffective. Each individual and their situation is unique, requiring help in unique ways. There is no “one size fits all” in therapy. With that said, therapists are also unique and have different skills, talents, understanding, and personalities. Because of this, each individual must find a therapist that resonates with them. Take a minute to read about the therapist or contact the therapist for a consultation, to see if they meet your needs. Sometimes, it just takes getting to know them and building a relationship with them inside of the therapeutic office to find the therapist who understands you and your needs.

Ultimately, the goal of therapy is to help you step outside of your current weather conditions and get clarity, understanding, skills and strategies, and new perspectives to meet any challenge or demand that you may be facing.

How do we Prevent Depression in Our Teenagers?

Medicinenet.com tells us that 20% of all teens will struggle with depression before they are adults, and suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for people ages 10-24 in the united states. As a parent of a 4-year-old I take preventative actions to give my child the best chance in life. For example, I take her to well-checks with her pediatrician, dentist appointments, lock up harmful chemicals etc. But what about depression, the 3rd highest killer of our teens? How do we prevent depression in our teens, and what do we do if they are already developing depression symptoms?

How do we protect our children from depression?

The best place to start is at home. There are many things we can do at home to positively affect our children’s lives, to help prevent or resolve depression symptoms early. You can start by doing the following:

1 - Use simple techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

• Problem solving- Help them come up with solutions to problems they face. Many teens suffering with or developing depression find it hard to overcome or solve simple problems. For example, a teen might fall behind on homework and lose hope of being able to catch up. You can step in and help them come up with solutions to the problem. such as reducing other obligations or scheduling time a set amount of time to work on homework.

• Challenging pessimistic thinking- Highlight and help them understand/question negative thought patterns. For example, a teen might start thinking in terms of all or nothing. “I am a weirdo because I said something weird.” Help them see that one instance cannot define them. They are a normal/good person who made one mistake.

2 - Implement simple health changes

• Increase physical activity/exercise

• Get a developmentally appropriate amount of sleep (for teens that is a little over 9 hrs.)

• Reduce stressors and increase coping skills. For example, you can reduce their load to reduce stress. Some stress reducing techniques include, taking deep breaths, meditate, be present, reach out, etc. A good one to start with is deep breaths. Breath in for four seconds and hold it, then breath out for four seconds, repeat.

The Conclusion…

Simply put, be present and aware of your children and their struggles. Increase their ability to cope with life through teaching them healthy habits and how to maintain a positive way of thinking. And when all else fails, let your children know that you will be there for them when things get hard. If depression becomes an issue for you or your children, don’t be afraid to seek out professional help, you are not alone.

Should I Talk to My Child About Emotions?

As a parent, you probably have experienced a myriad of emotions when engaging with your child. You probably have also been on the opposite side, witnessing your child experience a wide range of emotions, as well. If your child is older, you may remember the two-year-old stage when your kid would just flop themselves on the floor and scream for a few minutes. However, what happens after a child is better able to understand what they are feeling beyond a two-year-old level? Parents can feel stuck at times because they know which emotion is being expressed from their kid, and the child may not understand it or the impact that it has on those around them.

Additionally, parents may not feel comfortable or able to discuss feelings openly with their child. This may be for a variety of reasons from not having experience in talking about them when they themselves were a child, to simply not knowing how to approach a ten-year-old that acts out physically when experiencing anger. It may even be that the parent doesn’t know what they personally are feeling in a variety of situations. A parent that can push past the uncomfortableness in discussing emotions is doing a great service for their child in a variety of ways, but here are a few reasons that I like the best.

-Your child can gain a better sense of emotional intelligence. Quite simply defined, emotional intelligence is the ability to have awareness, control, and express emotions. This type of intelligence is crucial for children to master to build relationships at home, with their peers, and even into adulthood for their future careers. A person that has high emotional intelligence will feel more able to handle conflicts in their relationships and have greater empathy for what others are experiencing. By talking about feelings with your kid, you are building their awareness of the emotions and how they are currently being expressed.

-Your kid can feel more comfortable in approaching you when they are feeling a strong emotion. Sometimes, a son or daughter may not think that mom or dad wants to hear that they are feeling sad, angry, or hurt. There may even be an unspoken message sent that strong emotions are better kept to yourself being passed along. When you respond positively to your child telling you something that is being experienced that is hard for them, they feel more able to repeat the action in the future. This skill will be beneficial as your child grows and encounters new feelings and experiences that you would like them to share with you.

-You and your child can have a stronger bond. By letting your daughter know that you too have experienced sadness, you are letting her know that you can relate and understand where she is coming from. Your son will appreciate that his father knows what it is like to feel anxious when taking a test or raising their hand in class. This isn’t to say that your experience of feeling angry is the same as your child because we do feel them individually. Your role is more to help them see that even though you may not express your feelings overtly, you still have had that feeling at some point. You can have a connection in your shared feeling.

A final consideration to make here is to ensure that you are talking about feelings on an appropriate level. It can be overwhelming for a child to have a parent unload some heavy experiences on them if they are not mature enough to understand it. It’s probably best to keep conflicting emotions around experiences like divorce or other past difficulties to yourself. Keeping things simple like, “I felt mad today and my face felt hot,” may be just enough for a young child. The practice of talking to your kids about emotions does not have to be extremely in depth. Simply keeping the skill in your mind can prove helpful to use when it is needed.

Your son or daughter may thank you someday in helping them grow in their emotional development. I think that parents can help their children better manage emotions by helping them understand their function and personal expression of them. The more practice a child has in this practice, the more able they will be to handle stronger ones as they happen.

The High Cost of Perfectionism

• I’m not good enough.

• Being better than my neighbors means I am succeeding.

• I am a disappointment.

• I have no time for weakness.

• If I don’t meet this deadline everyone will think I’m stupid.

• I have to change the world for the better.

• I’m never good enough.

• I don’t look how I’m supposed to look.

• I must get straight A’s to become a successful adult.

Does something in your stomach feel a little uneasy about reading these statements? I bet you are feeling a twang of panic? It’s because you can feel the conflict. We tell ourselves these types of things all the time – sometimes subconsciously. Right now you may be questioning whether it’s possible to live up to these expectations while trying to pump yourself with positive thoughts on how awesome you are. The conflict is not in our capacity or ability or fortitude to achieve great things - the conflict is in how we define great success.

Often, we put the ability to accomplish great tasks in one of two categories; flawed or perfect and we cut out everything in between. This gives us the assumption that if we aren’t perfect then we must be worthless, because flawed people don’t accomplish great things, right? With this line of thinking we have just devalued ourselves because of our imperfections. Society (Hollywood, news media, etc..) definitely contributes to this perfectionistic ideal. Even those with good intentions such as teachers, parents, neighbors, and religion can make us feel that we have no chance for success if we aren’t perfect.

Brene Brown wrote this in her book Gifts of Imperfection:

“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame… Healthy striving is self-focused: ‘How can I improve?’ Perfectionism is other-focused: ‘What will they think?’”

Success is then defined as healthy striving and NOT perfection. Healthy striving occurs when we set small deliberate goals. It is not comparison. It is intentional growth. Perfection contributes to depression, shame, isolation, inadequacy, and anxiety. Healthy striving encourages connection, gratitude, and joy. It also requires some vulnerability and unpretentiousness. It requires mistakes and a reorganization of priorities. It requires staying true to personal values and integrity despite shortcomings.

Part of healthy striving compels you to accept the reality of who you are. Perfectionism is embedded in an unrealistic expectation of our future oriented selves. Put the future away for a moment and focus on the present. Loving yourself, just as you are today, without anticipating tomorrow is not easy to do but necessary for growth. Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am then I can change… The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.”

I encourage you to look at imperfection as a gift of knowing and valuing who you are as well as a platform for choosing change to become who you want to be. I ask that you define success as a process of being and becoming and less about achievement, tasks, and accomplishments. Could you imagine how we could open up possibilities for change if each of us practiced a growth mindset instead of a perfectionistic mindset? I imagine we would have different expectations of ourselves and others. Maybe we could even reach our greatest potential as human beings and change the world in the process.

Struggling to keep your New Years Resolutions?

The beginning of a new year can mean something different for a variety of people, but there appears to

be a strong feeling of a “new beginning” for most. This sense of a renewed or rejuvenated self can result

in a desire to accomplish goals, or resolutions, for the year. For some, the experience is positive, and

they accomplish their objectives easily. However, if anyone out there is like me and my past attempts at

New Year’s resolutions, the process can leave you feeling frustrated or hopeless at times when it doesn’t

work just as you had planned.

For this reason, I thought I would share a few tips on how to keep pushing through to meet your goals,

even if the progression isn’t exactly what you thought it would be:

1. Keep it simple and specific- Some goals, like losing weight or quitting smoking, can be daunting

because they require a lot of work and behavior change. Instead of being vague in the goal to

lose weight, it may be more effective to set a goal to lose 10 pounds in four months. This gives

you a direction to go, rather than getting overwhelmed with waiting for the scale to change

slowly.

2. Don’t beat yourself up- It’s purely fact that none of us are perfect. As much as you would like to

be able to stick to that diet every day, someone at the office is bound to bring you a favorite

treat. Sometimes you really would rather sleep in instead of going to the gym. All that stress

would decrease if you could have a cigarette. Life is a progression of ups and downs, and the

best resolution that you can have is to get back on track when you derail once or twice.

3. Share your goals- Sharing what you are working toward in 2019 with a partner, friend, or family

member may ensure that you are able to have someone to push you when you need it. Or, they

may be a good listener for when you slip up and need some encouragement to get back on

track.

The new year can be a great time of year to decide to work toward a new lifestyle, and it doesn’t have to

be stressful or overwhelming. Sometimes it isn’t the fact that you have a large change that is making a

difference, but rather that you are recognizing that you are pushing yourself to be better. Keep those

resolutions going!