Learning that someone you care about is contemplating suicide can be deeply unsettling. It's normal to experience fear, denial, shock, or even anger when someone’s words or behavior suggest they may want to end their life. You may feel upset that a problem could be so serious or wonder if asking about it could make the situation worse. Rest assured that research has shown asking about suicide does not increase risk. Once the question is asked, most people want to talk. Knowing how to respond can make a significant difference in connecting the person to the help they need, especially with suicide prevention resources readily available in Utah.

1. Recognize Warning Signs of Suicidal Thoughts

Recognizing warning signs of suicidal ideation is one of the most critical steps in helping someone. Look out for:

Verbal Cues: Statements like “I don’t see the point anymore,” “I feel trapped,” or more direct expressions such as “I’d be better off dead” are clear warnings.
Behavioral Changes: Withdrawal from social connections, giving away belongings, or increased risk-taking are significant red flags.
Emotional Indicators: Expressions of hopelessness, feeling like a burden, and deep sadness can signal distress.

These signs are sometimes subtle, and people may mask their struggles. Observing these behaviors and showing genuine concern—even when the signs seem minor—is crucial. If you suspect someone may be struggling, bringing up these observations can help them feel seen, encouraging them to share their thoughts.

2. Approach and Question with Compassion

Approaching someone with a direct yet compassionate question is essential. Asking someone if they’re thinking about suicide doesn’t plant the idea but instead opens a safe space for them to talk openly. For example, “You seem to be going through a lot, and I’m concerned. Are you feeling like life isn’t worth living?”

This straightforward question provides the opportunity for honest conversation without downplaying or hiding their feelings. It also shows empathy, allowing them to share openly, which is critical for those experiencing suicidal thoughts. Avoid minimizing their experiences or immediately offering solutions; listening with understanding is key.

3. Listen and Show Empathy for Mental Health Struggles

Once they begin to open up, the next step is to listen without judgment. People experiencing suicidal thoughts often feel misunderstood or as though their pain is minimized. Avoid phrases like “Things aren’t that bad” or “Everyone goes through tough times.” Instead, offer supportive statements, like “That sounds incredibly difficult, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”

Active listening—through eye contact, nodding, and allowing them time to fully express themselves—can help ease some of their emotional burden. Simply feeling heard can provide a significant emotional relief.

4. Encourage Seeking Professional Help

Once trust is established, gently encourage them to seek professional help. Many people with suicidal thoughts feel isolated and think no one can help. Reassure them that reaching out is courageous and that support systems, such as counseling or crisis intervention, are available to help. Offer practical support by suggesting that you can help find resources together, whether that’s a counselor, a doctor, or a Utah-based mental health hotline.

You might say, “There are people trained to help you get through this. I can help you find someone who can support you.” Some may feel overwhelmed by the idea of reaching out, so offering to assist with calls or appointment scheduling can make a huge difference.

5. Refer to Resources in Utah for Suicide Prevention

Connecting them with professional resources is crucial. In the U.S., the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline provides 24/7 support, and trained counselors are available for immediate intervention. Additionally, if you’re in Utah, the SafeUT app is a valuable resource that offers confidential crisis counseling, access to mental health professionals, and mental wellness tips. The SafeUT app is particularly beneficial for students, parents, and educators, providing on-demand support tailored for youth and school environments.

Having these resources on hand can offer the person immediate steps to take. Remind them that professional help is available, and that they don't have to face this journey alone.

6. Follow Up and Continue Offering Support

Support doesn’t end with one conversation. Recovery from a mental health crisis takes time, so checking in regularly can provide ongoing encouragement. Following up shows genuine care and reinforces that they’re not alone in their struggles. A simple message like, “I just wanted to see how you’re doing today,” or scheduling regular times to connect can be grounding for someone dealing with mental health challenges.

Encouragement for Caregivers

It’s natural to feel unequipped or even scared to have these conversations. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers or be a mental health professional to make a positive impact. By reaching out, listening, and connecting someone to appropriate mental health resources in Utah, you’re making a profound difference. Your support shows them they’re not alone in their struggles.

Reference
QPR Institute. QPR Gatekeeper Training for Suicide Prevention: The QPR Review. Spokane, WA.

Tools for Growth

What to Do if Someone You Care About is Experiencing Suicidal Thoughts